yet another reason 13

I shift from overly lazy to workaholic, back and forth. In both, task equally difficult is to ensure that habits don't take break. Every night I need to read this blog but every night I find a reason not to and last mile is the toughest. 

Especially in last few days, I have had excessive work, am hardly able to sleep. Just few hours, for last few days. But still in don't find 10 minutes to writes this, the struffle becomes real. 

It's bad, and it's should be like but against this intention to grow this habit  of open daily diary, and there also a habit to not do such things,.to just let the time passs onto next moment, few minutes, few hours and then the day passes.

Goodnight

A long day and yesterday's promise D 12

But promises to keep before I sleep. Last few days, iCFDR has been taking over everything. It has long needed restructuring, but there was no time, and we were busy doing regular activities. With everything coming to stand still, except covid19 relief work, we have finally managed to find time to update websites, improve overall communication, get team together and start research project. Also, launch in pipeline programs and projects. While iCFDR website is being updated, new micro website are coming up for various regular programs and two planned projects are finally seeing light of the day, VIN awards and iCFDR fellowship. 

All this apart from law, is keeping me busy. Will keep you posted, thanks so much.

Regards!

Be safe.

Breaking Vows D11

Yes, last two days, I wasn't able to write a blog, I was working around the clock, iCFDR, Easy Classes restructuring, Covid19 relief coordination, Law Interns, Reports and legal work for client. Hardly got time to sleep, eat, worry. I did miss out on writing blogs, but I was way too tired exhausted by the time I wrapped up work for the day and as usual waking up in middle of night to finish the work.

But thats me complaining, the revelant point here is breaking promise we make to ourselves. There are traits to ones personality, and there are some which impacts ones personalities in defining way. One of the defining ones is also, how well we keep well our promises, ones made to ourselves and ones made to others, is also one of those. It might sound silly, but it shapes up who we are, where are we in life today and where are we heading.

It's so easy to make a promises to resolution, especially to oneself. It's equally easy to let it go. It is like air we breath, each second we can make a promise and next second move on to next one. It's advisable to not pronder over them, for fear of overthinking, but, we need to be aware, each good promise undone is a battle we have lost. I must have lost thousands of such battles, especially when you are down and beaten, and still dreamy you make one everyday to shine bright, but then darkness within and outside engulfs you. It becomes the new normal. 

What can take you out from there, can be a smallest of that dreamy promise to shine and struggle. It ensure you, get into habit of winning these battle with ourself, day by day, and gradually making it habit. To fight, survive and win. To live strong with broken vows or to die down lying down its your choice. And choice is not in choosing the outcome, but choose to keep up with promise you make to yourself or letting them go. 

It could be a smallest of one, to rise up early and see the sun, to cook a meal, to dress up, to take a walk, to smile in pain, hold someone's hand to help, to study, to read a book, to make new friends. It's easy to give in, to believe life goes on. It never does, life is each second you have and each promise you make. It's in you and it's you. Nothing outside of your. Not everything works out, but might hurts most are those unkept promise.

Yes, those promise, lying in history, will come back and haunt, will pull you back in downward spiral. Hence, don't let them go easily, even if you have to draft yourself to fulfil the promise do it. Make it habit to ran, drag, fight for your promise, in every situation and condition. 

Apart from force majeure incident, legally term for unprecedented happening, things out of your or peoples control, the unkept promise would come back. 

Don't let them go! Don't let yourself go!

Its a lifetime each second one you do, its life when you keep up them

Thanks friends for pushing me to not to miss writing daily blog, thanks for this helping hand to keep up with my promises to myself. It's means a lot.

I start writing in 30-May-2020, and I hope it will go on, unless for a force majeure event. 

Best Wishes,

rvs

bunks to blogs d10

It was having a lil chat about how productive was my school life. And at very moment, I knew I need write a blog on this, the quintessential part of my wandering, bunking.

By the time, reached Dehradun, half of the school life was done, I don't have much to share from first half expect, changing school and places every couple on years. 

It was a moment, to arrive in Dehradun, amazed at it's beauty smelling of freedom. It's of course mustnot have been like as it once was and covered by various previous admirer. It's was still hot there, once could manage with a fan. It was green, our rented accommodation would have trees, and almost most of houses had some patch with few trees. 

On other side, I was thrown in a new world, students who seemed to be good their work and busy in their semi cosmopolitan life. I was tough to match both of them, but I being and outsider, I wasn't able to follow much about their world issues, but I for sure started to explore mine. So this bunking started with bunking evening cricket match or playing time to roam rounds and cycle the up and down the roads of Dehradun.

In a year or so, the town start too take over than its people and friends, and the started as stealing some time in evening became a full time hobby. Some time a day would start early with end up late, just to have a extented bunking session. It's was mix of everything, exploring town, hills around, sitting near river side, watching movies, making new friends, altercations, and sometime just plane bunking, and sometime spending time in cannaught place or a shop which used to rent out books, I still remember the location however neither name of place or person running it. I don't remember, I of my school friend who might have matched the record in this, though most of them sincere good kids in their own nice world. But I was mostly either dazed or intimidated, finally lost in the parralell world, with friends from across schools and town, it became a cricuit, team up, plan, chill, and repeat. I wish now, we had Facebook at that time or some other medium to know how are those co conspirators doing. Barely remember names, it's seems like another life. 

I still remember vividly, first one bunk, people became aware of, I was almost 50 away at Dakpathar, small hill town on bank Yamuna with a small dam. And first explanation i had, was being in physics project. Talking of physics, the teacher of physics and English, at school made it their life mission, to collect information about these bunks and appropriately awards me for the same. However, after being cross hair with English teacher, Mrs Chettri, it become more of friendship, she would always ask what and why am up being a jacka#@. Asking something to measure length and breath of town. 

In retrospect, I think, bunking was great escape from the semincosmopolitan world of doon and not able to sink in the disaspora around myself. At same time, it kept me connected to nature and people, then TV and class room competition. However, after initial couple of years of experience, the excitement went away and it become just going out and explore, and reading filled up the vacuum created by rest of the activities. It gave important life lessons, valuing friendships, blocking enemies :p, being in sync with nature of oneself within and outside. Also memories of long lost friends, their borrowed bikes, regular trips to Massouri and bruises.

And here I am now, grown of travelling too, cobbling up my perspectives in words daily. 

Apocalypse d9

We wrote prose for those who rose,

We wrote one for those who didn't,

We wrote one for those who were sold,

And another one for those who were bought!

We wrote and wrote,

Stopping at nothing,

And in a mountain of these, 

We live!

Without realising what we did,

We live on the mountains of our own myths,

Not far from one another,

We light the pyre of our souls.

But we keep writing some more,

While these peaks are growing higher and higher,

Full of this sludge, fire and ashes,

We write ourselves to this eschaton, even when there was none.

when are we dead D8

I had no thoughts to pen down today. I was taking an break and slept, but sleep didn't last long. Here I was thoughtless to wondering on theme to cover.

 I started thinking, when are we dead, are we dead when we have no thoughts,or when we are aimless, or when are physically weak to not being able to do much, except stay alive for some more time, or do we die when pronounced dead by the world. 

Or we are die and live everyday, we die a bit and live a bit, till we end this cycle. Or are we born again or exist as soul after we pass away. And if there is life after that, afterlife, rebirth, or no life but hell or heaven. Most importantly, how much should all this shape our life today. And if it doesn't shape our life today, why do we pray, do we pray to get benefits in everyday life or post the metaphysical existence. Just we do it for social obligation, or to get strength, or its something we can can't questions and think about and leave it to religion. And religion is supposed to have answers, and faith is important to believe in them, isn't it the end.

And if its all not important, why we are obsessed with unreasonable demands of people whose life are driven by these questions and shape the reality we live in. Therefore, does choosing away from these beleive is rational living or rationalising these the belief system is rational. Or a much mordern topic, what happens when these become irrelevant to one, does one become, secular, liberal, agnostic, atheist or spiritual. Or just renegade, infidel, adharmic, kafir or insolent. 

And if you got yourself to stage of being part of latter section of last para, what happens to your internal and external journey. Why some people still keep themselves within the mega cultural structure of religions, even when they have personally become non-believer.

I think answer lies somewhere in the range of fear, being left alone, social pressure, peer pressure, no support structure, under confidence to fight it all alone, conditioning of mind, sometimes mere intimidation, love, etc. 

Yes it's all relevant to when we are dead, as once you are really dead, and you haven't taken your own path, religious will over and count you as of their own. God might fail thousands or more times in one's life to be miraculous however in death, when everyone and everything leaves, it is almighty, just the supreme self that remains. Isn't is wonderful to relfect, however you take him, either like irrelevant statue/scripture, or benevolent or malevolent friend, only time, it's promised that the said divine power will take care, it's when you are dead.

Or we always are dead, faithearted to fight our deamons within and outside us.

Are we dead when we die, or when are brought up and brainwashed, to ensure we die peacefully with deamons of our making.

Do not dead enough.

iCFDR - toil and torture 7

It is a rare day, when not one person asks why I started iCFDR- Indian Centre for Development and Rights. Sometimes, I also ask myself too, why I got into social activism, the reasons are lost with time but it's more of habit and routine now. However, let's stick to organisational part in todays blog. Other aspect we can come up latter.

I started volunteering with ngos when I was in college, at the same time also reading various socio political and philosophical literature. Both of them combined, plus my background of coming belonging to small towns of Badaun-Bareilly, kept myself grounded in issues than be swayed by politics of them. That's tough in college, especially when you have background being concerned about society and looking to do your bit. But it was good time to explore, from various debates for social changes, to political ideologies and their working styles, also to transition from self claimed atheist to agnostic open to listen to all trying to proselyte but still not giving in. This all is important, as it plays role in shaping onces views and together with friends and company one keeps.

Anyways, while volunteering in Delhi, I felt there was so much which can be done in India with similar efforts. Also, it was felt the same amount of money spent in rural space would create much better change than in urban spaces. However, it took few years and a jaw break for all this internal discussion to materialise in enough enthusiasm to start forming informal groups/organisation  for the objectives and finally quitting first job. One after another, none of the social experiments, could had a long run. Most of them short lived from few months to few years. 

Finally, iCFDR was registered in 2013 to focus on rural urban divide and humanitarian work, from initially years of working at grassroots, it has evobled to focus more on urban slums. And with time we are also traditioning in research and policy suggestions. 

It was supposed to a long blog, but I can't be up anymore. Will talk about iCFDR transition soon.

Thanks so much.

Goodnight

Boomerang - D6

There were 100 ways to name this blog, maybe 1000 ways to interpret it, but this one of the simplest learning of life sometime takes ages to understand. In simple terms, what goes around comes around, or karma, in bit more complex quote, "what is here is everywhere and what is not here is nowhere", this is my favourite quote to understand the interpretation. It was around college, I read alchemist, I understood it but never found it relevant, by then was familiar with the concept, it had surfaced in religious text too, but it never found a deeper, till much latter, rather till very recent times. 

Gradually, I picked up traveling, mostly to understand various aspects of life across India and also to realise diversity of cultures and people in India and ofcourse food. Life become experiencial, more so with social experiments and professional stints. And gradually, one gets curious with never ending pursuit of happiness. That's when things starts turn strange, till the time one isn't seeking happiness and is busy with daily routine or thrill, it all seems to be steady. But as soon, as you understand yourself better, and try to remain in state of pleasure, the race begins. Let's take a simple example, once you are independent and start earning enough and you start shopping, going on trip, or enjoying of favourite food, where does it end, or does it become repetitive affair or cycle to attain that state of pleasure. Or to take a more complex example, you take of a career or start to date someone, even if things are rosy, you give up and resign, and it haunts you forever. Or when you are high, and high again, and again. The idea, is to discuss, when we start to realise, things which are giving us pleasure, or which might, why does the pursuit is either unaccomplished, artificial or never ending.

Boomerang, yes that's where is comes back in. Colossal work, since human history has been done to make one understand, just this simple concept, as what you sow is what you reap, karma, tit for tat, give and take, etc. 

Even when we know it, we miss understanding the holistic view of it, that is, happiness never resides outsides us, yet loads of enablers of it can. And sometime, rather than pursuing this permanent bliss, we keep running around flighting pleasures or evading pain, to get on to next moment, where we presume the things will change. 

But the tendency of external factors to affect our life adversely or beneficially, depends on what we sow inside us, how we deal with them, if we are resolute and consistent in actions to not give in to pains or pleasure, to takes these externalities with detachment, it becomes easier in state of positives vibes and permanence of happiness. I feel, even when we have understood this, we are humans, we can commit error of judgement or might give to pain or pleasures losing sight our ownself. But let's discuss it some other day.

Coming back to myself, I was still in my backpack travel mode of life, in himachal when I read that quote, "what is here is everywhere and what is not here nowhere", it struck me hard. It's tooks days for it to implode. But it helped my realise, the pointless of my pursuits and travels. It's took much longer to imbibe holistically, by then many error of judgements had occured and much has been lost to recover, but that's the journey. It's not for it begin well, it's not for it to end well, it's a procession of ones life. 

Boomerang!

Goodnight.

- Ravindra Vikram

Black Lives Matter movement: Why Gandhi is still relevant - D5

Even in this today, not all countries are based on principled constitutional and justice delivery system, struggling to provide just and equal environment for all. But still, they stand a better chance, compared to those run more traditional lines of religion, monarchy or over powering  ideology. In the constitutional democracies, there are safegaurds to secure basic human rights of everyone and access to justice system in case of infringement of such right. This is the one of the provisions where this system has edge over the rest, even if the rest alternatives promises an epitome based on certain philosophy and fanatics of human race. 

The said, mechanism gives a chance to self correct itself is the saving grace of much critised democratic system especially because of its perceived hegemony with either capitalism or liberalism depending on the person making judgement's based on personal beliefs and bias. 

You must be wondering where does Gandhi comes in all this, the Indian freedom struggle was unique in some ways, even with a segment of freedom fighters revolting and planning armed revolution against the British empire, the majority of the section of leadership at that time and much before the last phase of independence movement, made pleas for rights and liberties of Indian masses. They asked rulers to understand their grievance and work towards providing justice and rights for Indians put at disadvantage by the colonists. It was a gradual and slow process, latter asking for self rule before the voice for complete independence become predominant. It's sounds quite egalitarian and unreal, when oppressed is logical trying to reasons with the oppressor to free oneself from the bonds of oppression. But that's the strake difference, compared to other freedom movements across world. Thats the reason, Indian freedom movement, gave India plethora of leadership of all kinds. It was a democratic movement, with leadership coming from across length and breath of India, working with both masses and also the rulers to reform the conditions. Amazingly most of them worked together for common goals, for enriching lives of Indians and strengthening their resolve to create a just society. We might have not been successful in giving egalitarian society, however the experiment has been unmatched and there is still so much to learn from the approach, methods, functioning and leadership of that era. 

One of the defining personality, Gandhi, is perceived as global leader for his experiments with non violent struggle, at time war and revolution were the only way to obtain the seat of power. What he espoused, might appear fresh, and many religions claim it to be borrowed from the them, however if one keenly observes the leaders preceding him and the movement was focused to make India and Indians gradually avail more rights and just treatment by colonial master. 

What Gandhi effectively did, was to reach out to masses, instilled in them collective spirit and motivated them to protest peacefully for their rights and justice from the very system which oppressed them. He like other leader of times, engaged time dialogue with rulers and reasoned with them while protesting for their rights. 

This is where these methods are unique and relevant. What followed after world wars was new world order. And most of countries agreeing to some basic fundamentals rights and freedoms to the citizens which constitute the nation itself. And this is here, we can see relevance of Gandhian movements for lobby against injustice met out to any section of population in a country, and the pursuit of justice. 

Coming to current protest in USA which have take a global attention, both non violent and violent protest, hastaged #BlackLivesMatter, after broad day light racial hate crime murder by a policeman on duty, which has enraged the majority of population there and also global millenials living in interconnect digital world. Though there is a long history of centuries of oppression and also gradually movement for rights for African American community, the Gandhian methods for non violent protest and working on upliftment of consciousness of masses, making system more just and reasonable and finding a way to finding resolution by mediation, can certainly, work much better then the other methods which involve othering or casting blame or making on section of society perennially guilty. 

What it might invite, is a personal critism of Gandhi or argument of privilege in the understanding, however the focus not be on ruling out alternatives to suit ones personal biases but use methods which will make the world better place to live and will raise collective consciousness of us all. 

Why this silly soliloquy? - D4

There is no productive reason as such, as in there is no design to these daily blogs, nor their is an aim to this. But since, a while now, few senior friends and supporters of my social experiments had asked me to start a journal or write a book, about my travel, journeys and experiments, I never saw a point it. Mainly three reasons not to pick it up till now, first I haven't had roaring successes in them, second finding time to write and thirds, finding purpose of these writing. So Covid19 lockdown, solved one third of the problem, finding time, going forward I have decided to sign off the day with these daily blogs, may be a habit borrowed from those who write diary at the end of the day. First reason, of not having roaring success, this part was sorted few years back, after a point in the journey success and failure, becomes irrelevant the journeys takes over the race, and you do what you have made yourself into. For the last part, purpose, there is still no purpose in these writing, it's my daily scribbles from my life, some of you might be able to related with it and some of you night be able to learn from it. Hope it solves some purpose, real or perceptive. For myself, it's as I have named soliloquy. But with few days, it's might help with few things, make life more transparent which might make conversation with friends and strangers more meaningful and secondly, might help me share my thoughts, discuss them with friends in this journey. 

So timing is fixed now, before I call it a day and sleep, I have planned to follow this routine to write a little piece, and share it. 

It can cover any topic under the sun, however, I would try to simply the logic behind my ideas and proposals and due to my background it might be heavy on arm chair philosophy and society. And I think, this daily exercise would make my life more transparent and responsible towards my social activism, moreover, it's getting tougher by the day to manage time to have these detailed conversations with friends. 

By the way, we are about to start a drive to help some daily workers off to their home from Gurgaon. At Ravindra Vikram Law Associates, keep checking out blog for educational legal updates.

Enough for self talk, just wanted to keep all on board, of what's coming their way and from where it's coming. 

Lots of Love. Goodnight.

Regards,

Adv Ravindra Vikram